LOVE THIS SONG!!

Pat Monahan - Her Eyes lyrics
She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid, true religion gets it all
If they fit right.
She's a little bit manic, completely organic
Doesn't panic for the most part.

She's old enough to know, and young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets.
Like everybody, she's in over her head,
Dreads Feds,
Grateful Dead, and doesn't take meds.
She's a Gemini Capricorn
Thinks all men are addicted to porn.
I don't agree with her half the time,
But, damn I'm glad she's mine.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.

Tells me that she lives about a hundred lives,
Scares me to death when she thinks and drives,
Says cowboy hats make her look fat, and I'm so glad she's mine.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She doesn't know the word 'impossible
'Don't care where I've been and doesn't care where we're goin' to.
She takes me as I am, and that ain't easy.
She's beautiful. So beautiful.

And sometimes I think she's truly crazy.
And I love it.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She's not afraidshe just likes to use her night light.

This weekend

wow. This weekend was amazing. Me and Chels went to KC and saw Ashliegh-who isnt doing very well at the moment but she'll pull through with God. Anyways and we went to Jamie Varriano's B-Day party. Everyone was so surprised...because well Gregory knew chels was comming but not me and Shadow hadnt a clue so everything was great! (He saw chels and to hug her...threw his newly opened can of soda on the ground with a hiss...)And he even took chels on a motorcycle ride...they even kept me up late talking last night...i'm so tired. But chels is like glowing. haha
Anyways this whole Gregory thing is really starting to bug me...I mean I was talking to Livi yesterday (we went and got chinese). And so we're sitting in the resturant and she was like "you confuse me..you say you're better off and then your like depressed because he's not with you." And then we started talking about what happend which in my defense should have been done like 10 months ago... And I realized the only reason I broke up with him was because I was scared. I got to York with him and I just saw us there everyday and the major commitment...and I just...freaked out. And I thought well...we're probably gonna break up anyways because we keep fighting and I need him to be a man...so I'll just set him free and he'll come back...eventually. With all his life on him and experiences.and I guess I also felt I had to get out before he pulled the plug on me...which now I realize he would have never done. *sigh*
Oh well..it so doesnt matter anymore...he has Jamie and I'm here...alone without him.
Man...
Anyways I wanted to post a song that they sang at Jamie's party...Shadow sang it and did an amazing job I must say.
so here it is:
Softer to Me- Relient K

Where am I? Where are you?
There's so much time so little to do.
Were busy doing nothing cause its vanity we prize.
You can't see nothing cause you can't through your eyes.
There covered with a film, you'r blinded by yourself.
You're the one to blamebut you pretend it's someone else.

Chours:
Life could you be a little softer to me.
Life could you be more gentle to me.
Softer softersofter softer to me

I'm still alive. that much is true.
Never lied ,well, guess i've told a few.
There's nothing to see because i brought nothing to show.
The conversation got to deep, i shrug and tell you i don't know.
This life can get so hard,
this world can be so cruel, sometimes
I fall apart i feel just like a usless tool.
yeah.

Chours:
Life could you be a little softer to me.
Life could you be more gentel to me.
Yeah I know this is a selfish plea, because
Christ sacrificed his flesh on the cross for me.
But this world is hard, it's cruel and
I wish it could be ...softer softer softer softer to me.

October...

wow I am such a liar...hmm...that last entry..yeah I'm not happy...that its over that is. Well acctually I really dont know what I am...you see I went on facebook this weekend and I saw this picture of him and his new girlfriend.
And yes I know... From his friend and his cousin.
So basically she can be really pretty when she wants to be..you know if you like that perfect height, blonde hair, skinny look. Apparently he does...gahh I feel like the biggest idoit in the whole world!!..because they were probably together the whole week of camp and I made a COMPLETE fool of myself...because everyone was like "he still loves you." yeah those people couldnt be more wrong. He was so over me he had to tell me the FIRST NIGHT OF CAMP that he didnt want to give me any "false hopes." Well too late bub.
And then the last time we takled on the phone he was like "You were the one you wanted to get back together again" in this really desperate voice that made me feel vunerable and violated and really pissed off at the same time. And now he probably thinks it doesnt matter. I know it really shouldnt. I broke up with him..but..and now this is what kills me...if we had still been together...would he have broken up with me for her? Just because I'm so outspoken and she isnt? I mean really other than the phyisical difference thats all I came up with..I am more independant and she's well..kinda shy goes with the flow..which is fine. I know she's a great girl and I know she's so lucky...I guess what I miss the most is him being my rock. Always being there whenever I needed someone to vent to or cry to...now all I have is God...which is a very good thing. But do you ever get that feeling that God's just like "Ive heard this over and over...get on with it already?" I feel like everyone feels that way which is probalby why im writing here now.
And Chels well...all she can talk about is Shadow(well not only him) which is great and I know she needs to...it just makes me think of his brother and then im back to square one. GAHH!
I really do hope things get better with them though, I feel like they could acctually have a real good chance at happiness, unlike me. I mean yeah they've both changed but its been for the better you know?And they're both sorry for what happend and I KNOW they both still have feelings for eachother because I have eyes. And I saw them the whole week of camp...him mostly checking her out and then acting like he didnt care and her doing the same thing...*sigh* and im not the only one either...I could name like 5 girls who saw it too. Wow I sound like a 6th grader...lol.
Ok well thats all I have to say about everything hope everyone is doing great and that the Lord blesses you in all you do.
~Mandi

Daughtry- Over
Now that it's all said and done,I can't believe you were the oneTo build me up and tear me down,Like an old abandoned house.What you said when you leftJust left me cold and out of breath.I fell too far, was in way too deep.Guess I let you get the best of me.Well, I never saw it coming.I should've started runningA long, long time ago.And I never thought I'd doubt you,I'm better off without youMore than you, more than you know.I'm slowly getting closure.I guess it's really over.I'm finally getting better.And now I'm picking up the pieces.I'm spending all of these yearsPutting my heart back together.'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,I got over you.You took a hammer to these walls,Dragged the memories down the hall,Packed your bags and walked away.There was nothing I could say.And when you slammed the front door shut,A lot of others opened up,So did my eyes so I could seeThat you never were the best for me.Well, I never saw it coming.I should've started runningA long, long time ago.And I never thought I'd doubt you,I'm better off without youMore than you, more than you know.I'm slowly getting closure.I guess it's really over.I'm finally getting better.And now I'm picking up the pieces.I'm spending all of these yearsPutting my heart back together.'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,I got over you.Well, I never saw it coming.I should've started runningA long, long time ago.And I never thought I'd doubt you,I'm better off without youMore than you, more than you know.Well, I never saw it coming.I should've started runningA long, long time ago.And I never thought I'd doubt you,I'm better off without youMore than you, more than you know.I'm slowly getting closure.I guess it's really over.I'm finally getting better.And now I'm picking up the pieces.I'm spending all of these yearsPutting my heart back together.Well I'm putting my heart back together,'Cause I got over you.Well I got over you.I got over you.'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,I got over you.

My Song...Well not really

So yeah this is a song by Boston, and its called "Amanda" funny huh? But I really do love this song and wish that someday someone might sing it to me. Even though I feel completely see through today...hmmm...whatever happend to I AM ME! yeah...that kinda faded in time and now that I'm back in school, I have so many things to do before December...I'm so stressed. I know a boyfriend is the last thing I need right now...but I'm lonely...who wouldn't be its been like 11 months....
sigh*
I did talk to him last night though and I know its over.
Forever.
And I am so glad!
But not about the alone part..yeah that sucks.
love ya'll
~Mandi


*************************************************
Boston-AMANDA LYRICS

Babe, tomorrow's so far away.
There's somethin' I just have to say.
I don't think I could hide
What I'm feelin' inside
Another day.
Knowin' I love you.
And I -- I'm getting' too close again.
I don't wanna see it end.
If I tell you tonight
Will you turn out the light.
And walk awayKnowin' I love you?

I'm gonna take you by surprise
And make you realize.
Amanda I'm gonna tell you right away
I can't wait another day.
Amanda I'm gonna say it like a man
And make you understand,
AmandaI love you.

And, I feel like today's the day.
I'm lookin' for the words to say.
Do you wanna be free,Are you ready for me
To feel this way?I don't wanna lose ya.
So it may be too soon I know.
The feelin' takes so long to grow.
If I tell you today
Will you turn me away
And let me go?I don't wanna lose you.

I'm gonna take you by surprise
And make you realize.
Amanda I'm gonna tell you right away
I can't wait another day.
Amanda I'm gonna say it like a man
And make you understand,
AmandaI love you.

You and I -- I know that we can't wait.
And I swear -- I swear it's not a lie girl,
Tomorrow may be too late.
You -- you and I girl -- we can share a life together.
It's now or never And tomorrow may be too late.
And, feelin' the way I do,
I don't wanna wait my whole life through
To say
I'm in love with you

School

Well its a beginning of a new school year and you all know what that means...homework(duh). But not exactly the answer I was looking for...lol. I have a computer! well sorta its the schools and I cant be on it longer than 30 min but still I get internet for awhile! Man what am I gonna do when I graduate??? lol.

Anyways just wanted to update with some old pics of Everwood. Man do I miss that show.

So I guess thats it untill next time! Adios!

~Mandi

song of the week:

"A Little More You" by: Little Big Town

New Kelly Clarkson Lyrics

Never Again- Kelly Clarkson

I hope the ring you gave to her
Turns her finger green.
I hope when you're in bed with her,
You think of me.
I would never wish bad things,
But I don't wish you well.
Could you tell?
By the flames that burned your words,
I never read your letter
Cause I knew what you'd say.
Give me that Sunday school answer.
Try to make it all okay.

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere.
It was you who chose to end it like you did.
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
Don’t say you simply lost your way
She may believe you
But I never will
Never again
Never again
Never again
Never again

If she really knows the truth,
She deserves you.
A trophy wife, oh how cute.
Ignorance is bliss.
But when your day comes,
And he's through with you.
And he'll be through with you.
You'll die together but alone.
You wrote me in a letter.
You couldn't say it right to my face.
Give me that Sunday school answer.
Repent yourself away.

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere.
It was you who chose to end it like you did.
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
Don’t say you simply lost your way
They may believe you
But I never will
Never again
Never again
Never again
Never again

Never again will I hear you.
Never again will I miss you.
Never again will I fall to you.
Never.
Never again will I hear you.
Never again will I miss you.
Never again will I fall to you.
Never.
Never again will I kiss you.
Never again will I want to.
Never again will I love you.
Never!

Does it hurt to know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere.
It was you who chose to end it like you did.
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do.
Don’t say you simply lost your way.
They may believe you
But I never will.
I never will.
I never will.
Never again
Never again
Never again
Never again

***********
Just letting some of you know Livi feels this way about Chuck it has NOTHING to do with what I went through..that would be kinda hypocritical...lol. But I do love the song.
thanks for reading!
~Mandi

To Love

Amanda Farrar

RBD:Tu Amore (Your Love)

Mi amor (My Love)

I'm not sure of the right words to say

Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain

What I feel in my heart

What I feel more each day

How to make you see

How to let you now

How to say how to say how I love you so

With words you understand

Words that get right through to your heart

Here's the place to start

[CORO]

Tu amor, I will always be

Tu amor, means the world to me

Estarás siempre en mi corazón

You're the one in my soul

And I live for tu amor, tu amor.

Mi amor love you more with each look in your eyes

Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe

What I feel in my heart

What I'll feel for all time

How to make you see

How to let you nowI need you

With words you understand

Words that get through to your soul

Words that will let you now

[CORO]

You're the one thatI need in my arms

Believe me these words

I say are words that come straight from my heart

How do I make you believe

Nothing else means as much as what you mean to me

[CORO]

lyrics

Straitjacket Feeling- All American Rejects

Back me down from backing up Hold your breath now it's stacking up Etched with marks, but I can deal And you're the problem and you can't feel Try this on, straitjacket feeling so maybe I won't be alone Take back now, my life you're stealing Yesterday was hell But today I'm fine without you Run away this time without you And all I ever thought you'd be That face is tearing holes in me again Trust you is just one defense off a list of others, you don't make sense Beg me time and time again to take you back now, but you can't win Take back now, my life you're stealing Yesterday was hell But today I'm fine without you Run away this time without you And all I ever thought you'd be That face is tearing holes in me but today I'm fine without you Run away this time without you And all the things you put me through I'm holding on by letting go of you And when that memory slips away There'll be a better view from here And only lonesome you remains and just the thought of you I fear it falls away Yesterday was hell But today I'm fine without you Run away this time without you And all I ever thought you'd be That face is tearing holes in me but today I'm fine without you Run away this time without you And all the things you put me through I'm holding on by letting go of you

Avril Lavigne – Girlfriend lyrics

[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

[Verse 1]
You're so fineI want you mine
You're so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You're so addictive
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
(alright alright alright alright)
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious
And hell yeahI'm the mother fuckin' princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right
(I'm right I'm right I'm right)

She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about!

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
(and again and again and again)

So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again
(And again and again and again!)
She's like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that's what everyone's talking about!

[Chorus]

[Break]
In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There's no other
So when's it gonna sink in
She's so stupid
What the hell were you thinking?
In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There's no other
So when's it gonna sink in
She's so stupid
What the hell were you thinking?

[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend
No Way No Way...Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!No it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!I want to be your girlfriend
No Way No Way...
Hey! Hey! You! You!I don't like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!I could be your girlfriend
No Way No Way...Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!No it's not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!I want to be your girlfriend
No Way No Way Hey Hey...

My own lyrics

Mine-By, Amanda Farrar

There you are
Here I am
Fighting over what has been
I was fine, when you were mine.
Just walking through my life.

(Chorus)
Now we’re here
Broken in the pieces of our past
Trying to grasp what has been
And will never be again
Oh how I love you, when I thought we would last.

Talking to you late at night
Trying to grasp what’s wrong and what’s right…
If you were here id find a reason,
Just one to try and get to you!
But...

(Repeat chorus)

(Bridge)
I’m trying to find what was right
Know I should have seen the light.
All I want to be now is yours
But you don’t want me anymore
Because…
(Repeat Chorus)

(Because…we’re broken!)
(We can’t change the past)
(I knew we’d never last)

New Favorite Bible verse:

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." ~Genesis 28:15

Another Week...

Is it just me or did wenesday come really fast this week?? lol. Anyways so I guess I have to have this pot luck church thing tonight because it's the first sunday of the month. I should look forward to these things but...I dont. lol. Anyways heard from Grandma Site last night I guess she's pretty disapointed in Cherie' for getting an apartment with adam and stuff. I can honestly say im not surprised because I wasnt too thrilled about it either, and me and Grandma are a lot alike because well our personalities and our love for cooking ;).
Anyways I didnt mean to start this entry to tear my sister down because I do love her, in spite of all her mistakes and I try every day to give her the benifit of the doubt. I'm acctually getting better at not hating her, which is good, because I dont feel it consume me anymore. And yes there was a time I did..I know not good, I prayed so long on that one. Im just glad I'm moving on. I really dont want to dwell on this anymore.
So Chels and me have been talking quite a bit this month and me and Holli...well..havent. I feel really bad too because I feel like this always happens with us. Like we'll spend a day together and then wont call each other for like two weeks. Or in our case right now, four. So I wrote her today to try and do something. I hope she reads it she hardly ever checks her email.
Anyways that's all I really wanted to say, hope everyone's day is going good.
luvs!
~Mandi
ps>Dad's staying home 3 more nights!!! :D

Ciara/ Paula DeAnda lyrics!! :D

Artist: Paula Deanda
Song: When It Was Me

Ooh, no
Yeah, yeah

She's got green eyes and she's 5'5"
Long brown hair all down her back
Cadilliac truck
So the hell what
What's so special about that
She used to model, she's done some acting
So she weighs buck of 5
So I guess she's alright if perfection is what you like

Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not
Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got
Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed
I remember way back when you used to look at me that way

Tell me what makes her so much better than me
(so much better than me)
What makes her just everything that I can never be
What makes her your every dream and fantasy
Because I can't remember when it was me

And now you don't feel the same
I remember you would shiver everytime
I said your name
You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes
Now you don't care I'm alive
How did we let the fire die

Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no
I'm notOoh, ooh, I just want everything she's got
Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed
I remember way back when you used to look at me that way
What makes her so much better than me
(so much better than me)
What makes her just everything that I can never be
What makes her your every dream and fantasy
Because I can't remember when it was me

That made you smile
That made you laugh
Even if it makes you happier
than you have ever been, oh me
That was your world
(me)Your kind of girl
Nothing about me has changed
That's why I'm here wondering

What makes her so much better than me
(what makes her so much better than me)
What makes her just everything that I can never be
What makes her your every dream and fantasy
Because I can't remember when it was me
What makes her so much better than me
(what makes her so much better than me)
What makes her just everything that
I can never be
What makes her your every dream and fantasy
Because I can't remember when it was me

When it was me
When it was me
When it was me
**********************************************************
[Verse: 1]
Pull up your pants
(Just Like Em')
Take out the trash
(Just Like Em')
You can dig cash like em'
Fast like em
'Girl you outta act like ya dig
(What I'm talkin' bout')
Security codes on everything
Vibrate so your phone don't ever ring
(Joint Account)
And another one he don't know about

[Hook]
Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that...
Tell you I love you
But when you call
I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corna roll'n
Do'n my own thing
Ohh

[Chorus]
What if I?...
Had a thing on the side?
Made ya cry?
Would the rules change up?...
Or would they still apply?...
If I played you like a toy?...
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]
Can't be get'n mad!
What You Mad?
Can't Handle that!Can't be get'n mad!
What you mad?Can't handle that!

[Verse: 2]
Girl go head and be...
(Just Like Em')
Go run the streets
(Just Like Em')
come home late say sleep like em
'Creep like em'
Front with ya friends
Act hard when you're with em' like em'
(What)
Keep a straight face when ya tell a lie
Always keep an anti-alibi
( Keep Him In The Dark )
What he don't know won't break his heart

[Hook]

[Chorus]

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]

[Bridge]
If I was always gone
With the sun get'n home
(Would Ya Like That?)
Told you I was with my crew
When I knew it wasn't true
(Would Ya Like That?)
If I act like you
Walk A mile off in yo shoes
(Would Ya Like That?)
I'm mess'n with your head again
Dose of your own medicine

[Chorus]

[Guy Chopped & Screwed Voice]

[Music Plays]

[Outro]
If I played you...
Would yo like that?
Had friends...
Would you like that?
Nother car?
Would you like that?
Hell nawYou wouldn't like thatNo!

[Half-Chorus]
What if I made ya cry!
Would they still apply!
What if I...If I played you like a toy
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy!

[Music til' song fades out]

Just Another Day

Im still so sore right now but I thought id get on the computer just to check if maybe SOMEONE wrote me back...and surprisingly.....no such luck. Well thats ok, if he wants to make things right thats fine. And if his bro doesnt even call thats great too...I would just never have to talk to him again. Which isnt so great but...yeah I just feel like Im the only one trying to make these friendships work and its getting rediculous. Anyways found some lyrics online because I heard them while going to school and I thought they were pretty good so Im gonna post em.
Other than that my day came and went. I have a "presentation" you may say, tomorrow, that I have to do for my American History teacher Mr. Gifford. He's a great guy but...definitions???? ME???! eek!!!! lol. Well I studied thats all I can really do right? And I prayed too, God always seems to help me remember things when I need em.
He's definatley there when im in strength and im like "Lord give me strenght" and before I know it im done with the two laps around the track which nearly killed me..im so outta shape its not even funny. Which is weird because ive been "working out" all semester and NOTHING. Well I dropped a pant size but who's counting? lol. I wish I could drop like 5. Anyways as I was saying I know he's always there for me, and I am so grateful! AMEN! lol.
So I guess chels isnt doing so good lately. And its not because of Shadow. No, she's letting God handle THAT situation. If they get back together they do, if they dont they dont. That's pretty much what she said to me. I think she's doing surprisingly well. Considering before that is. Anyways she's dealing with her older sister Sam right now. When things like this happen with her family for some odd reason I feel like I caused it...I know I couldnt of prevented it but...I know her mom feels like Im stealing her away from them, and if I am I dont feel like I am. Im so confused. I just want her to be happy. Is that so much to ask for a best friend?? I thought not.
Well that about raps it up...oh wait yeah the lyrics...I'll post those after this...I guess
Luvs!
~Mandi
(didnt have time to post the lyrics so....go check em out on my xanga or just listen to em yourself)
Paula DeAnda _ When It Was Me
Ciara- Just like a boy

Life...again

Lyrics: John Mayer "Not Myself"

Suppose I said
I am on my best behavior
And there are times
I lose my worried mind

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
And words will go
From poetry to prose

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

And I, in time, will come around
I always do for you

Suppose I said..
You're my saving grace

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I'm someone else?

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I'm someone else?
##############################################################

So I posted these lyrics because these were all I needed to hear to break down tonight and realize that I am an Idiot. Thats right. Thank you John Mayer for writing that song so I could spill my soul out to my mom in a van. Right in front of a Burger King. yeah..great. And you can only guess what it was about, yup Grego. Who else right? No one else can make me break down like that..well maybe chels or holli but still. seriously.
As I said I am an idot but...im not going to do anything obviously. That would be even more idotic. I mean he's moving on he fine with out me, as I thought I was without him. I'll be fine. I can do this I dont have a choice. Im gonna stay at home while he goes out with that one chick that gets to take him to prom. She'll probably look even better in a dress than me no matter if I dropped a pant size or not. She will look so breath takingly beautiful he wont even remember me. lol, he wouldnt even recognize me now if I was there just at his house. He'd probably be like "uh mom there's this girl in the front yard.." Because he's moved on, and I should too. Im fine, im fine, im fine. *breath* i have my family...or whats left of it. I have my friends, chels and holli. And I have God. That is if he hasnt turned his back on me for being to "sinful" with my pride.
Which come to think of I only held on to so hard because that's my dad in me and I dont want to lose that.
well tahts all, buh bye for now
~Mandi

Amanda
–noun
a female given name: from a Latin word meaning “beloved"

Ashley Parker Angel Lyrics

" LET YOU GO"

Broken promises

But you don't really mind

It's not the first time

and you know it

Don't you know?

Tell me why it is you

only smile inside

But when you break me

into nothing

Don't you know?

It's not like

I haven't tried

over and over again

Stupid fights, wrong or right

Goodbye

[Chorus:]

I remember when you came with me that night

We said forever, that you would never let me go

But here I am again

With nothing left inside

Know I don't wanna

But I gotta let you go

You're the one mistake I really didn't mind

So beautiful, unmercifulIt took me down

Too little and too late

See now I know your kind

You fake it easy just to please me

Don't you know?

It's not like we haven't tried over and over again

Sleepless nights, wrong or right

Goodbye

[Chorus]

I gotta let you go

It's you

There's nothing I can do

[Chorus]

Today....

So anyways... today has been really frustrating. I mean ever have one of those days where you feel like there is a war raging on inside of you and you can't get rid of it, but it stays there and bugs you the rest of the day. Like you have no idea whats causing it but at the same time wish it would go away, like a burning restlessness? Yeah thats how I feel today. However instead of not knowing what it is I have exactly the answer for myself: Boys. Stupid self centered boys...or at least it seems that way. All I know is they dont care, or they just never get on the computer but anyways I dont feel like they do. So ive been talking to Gregory lately, and I decided to get off my high horse and be friends but...it seems that its one sided. Like he's majorly not wanting to talk to me. Or it could be he hasnt had time but...yeah its probably that..man I need to stop being such a butt.lol. I think Pam got home yesterday so I didnt want to inturupt their plans of having family time, because I know when my dad gets back im not hanging out with anyone. I mean come on he's been gone like 5 1/2 weeks I think I'm gonna miss him, you know? lol. Anyways, im also kinda aggitated at Shadow, and for some reason him being mad at me bugs me more than Grego not talking to me. How screwed up is that? Anyways I just keep thinking about him and Chels and how she probably lost her chance and he's completely fine, which just pisses me off more. What do those boys eat/drink??! I mean im still not over Grego, and I DUMPED HIM! And they're all like "what's your problem man??" I just wanna say, "My problem is you guys dont seem to have mourning periods...you just like get over any problems at the speed of light!" Seriously, like you would think that if me and chels meant something they would have at least held on to some sort of memory, then again i broke up with Grego like last november...and chels dumped Shadow like in September...but I mean come on! Dont girls deserve second chances?? Well...in our case maybe not, I mean we both were complete female dogs..when it came to them so I wouldnt blame them for moving on but...still why should i still have to be in this depressing hole while he goes out to dance's with "Friends" and I stay home and watch Friends on tv. lol. GAAHH!!! I just hope the next time I see both of them they dont hate me and that my feelings don't come rushing back. That would really suck, you know seeing as ive tried to hide them deep in my heart for so long. I do that because, I mean if I went to him now he totally wouldnt uderstand, and then he would hate me, or maybe not because they dont hate, but you know really not like me. And of course he wouldnt understand why I did what I did...and to be honest I really cant remember either, all I know is i was mad and I felt like I couldnt be me but then again I just felt that way in general. I mean I still do, so maybe I shouldnt of jumped the gun. I dunno. Oh well guess I'll never know, i'll just live life with that on my conscience.
Well that's all for now, i know its really long i just had a lot to say. Hope everyone has a awesome spring break!
luvs!
~Mandi

Lyrics

Artist Name- Hinder Song lyrics- Better than me

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I wouldn't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend
that I won't think about you when I'm older

Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)

***************************************
(for Grego)
<3 face="georgia">Mandi

Seriously

Seriously I just dont understand my siblings some times and how in the hell they do the things they do. But this day its not Livi, no Livi is my rock, my chica, my bestie! No its the other one. The one I cant stand...thats right Cherie. Lucky guess. Yehah and its all because she decided to spill her feelings to the world. I got three words for ya honey "Keep it in" no one wants to hear it. All it does is cause this family stress and heartache anyways, and I know you "need" attention but seriously this is a bit much. No one needs it THAT badly. You wanna know what i think I think this wedding she's planning she's doing just so she can have everyone look at her and how beautiful she is and how much our family isnt, and how much "better" she is than our cousin Michelle, which lets face it she isnt. I love Michelle, in fact she made me laugh more in one day than cherie did in a year. How sad is that, and you wanna know why? Because I never see her, no she's never home and when she is she's only there because Adam couldnt take her to his home and Adam needed sleep. I bet if we were all dead she really wouldnt care. So I snapped a little..I didnt mean to it just happend ok? And i bet if anyone else was in this situation they would of done exactly what I did...ok well not exactly but you know what I mean, they would of said SOMETHING right? Right. So I did and well....lets just say I basically told her i hated her and that I wasnt gonna be her maid of honor, which I never was anyways. Not over my ALIAS, OR GREYS OR SMALLVILLE. and that means alot. trust me. Im fed up, and who wouldnt be?
Seriously, no one in their right mind would think this isnt nuts, and I bet not a one of you could last a day in my shoes. Think about it, Cherie who's supposed to be the oldest in the family the "rock" if you will is the most spineless jelly fish you've ever seen, and My dad's gone to go and try to make some money for this family because lets face it money doesnt grow anywhere as far as were concerned, and mom well she's depressed. And Cherie has the audacity to put all this on her. Im so mad so so mad. I swear im a bomb and im about to go off.... which reminds me of a song...
IM a BOMB- Natasha Bedingfield:
Taxi ride, going down townMe and my girls, going outcounting down to detonation10 to zero, mushroom cloud Little angel, i'v been too goodDitch the halo for a whileDressed to kill i'll be causingMass desruction, so shield your eyesi'm all steamed up and ready to blowPressure max, meter red overloadTo get release i gotta explode I'm a bomb, can you hear me tick?Beware if you turn me onThere is no safety switchI'm a bomb use only steady hands To mess with meYou must be a brave man Bass so loud, i can't hear youCan't defuse me not im wiredDo not disturb while i'm dancingwatch me set this house on fire I'm a bomb, can you hear me tick?Beware if you turn me onThere is no safety switchI'm a bomb use only steady hands To mess with meYou must be a brave man Club crescendo getting loudRun for cover undergroundwhat are you

~Mandi

SOME PEOPLE

Clark Kent & Lana Lang

Isn't it a gamble

Layin' your heart out on the floor

Nothin' short of a miracle

When you find the one
you're looking for

It's another kind of trouble
trying to hang on
to who you are

When all you wanna do
is lose yourself
in someone else's arms

Isn't it a wonder
(that) we got this far

Some people aren't lucky like us

Some people they just give up

When the hard times fall

The thrill of it all is gone

Leaves you in a cloud of dust

It's sad to think
that some won't find it

And others won't
recognize it even when it comes

We're all at the mercy
of the will of love

Some people yeah

Some people aren't
lucky like us

Two lonely souls that
just stumbled into fate

Look how much we've been given babe

In spite of all of our mistakes

And I will never forget
I've been blessed with the
gift of lovin' you

And when the going aint easy babe

A little faith will pull us through

Thank God we have each other
we can hang onto

 [repeat chorus]

 [Bridge]

To have someone you can laugh with

Someone you can cry with

Tell all your secrets to

To have someone who won't judge you

Someone who just loves you

No matter what, they stand beside you

im sad

I'm sad
I miss my dad
Its so unrad
I feel like such a cad
I should really stop
I feel like im going to pop
I'll stop anytime
This is enough of this rhyme
~Manda Farrar

Haha I just made that up all by myself...I guess I can rhyme and write poems...hmm who'd a thunk huh? lol. Anyways I miss dad. He hasnt called in a week and we're all really worried...Mom more than any of us. I pray he's ok, and not lying in a ditch somewhere. I really hope he calls. I talked to Shadow today for the first time in forever. He seems good. I only talked to him for like two minutes but..it was fun nonetheless.
So we went to pizza hut tonight for dinner, and there was this really cute guy who was the cashier...I found myself shamelessly flirting..oh well thats half the fun right? not knowing who they are and hoping they'll never see you again cause if they do your certain you would crawl under a rock and die. Well yeah thats what I did. My mom was pulling out her license because she had written a check, and we were teasing each other about the mug shots...and he commented on how his really wasnt that bad and I said "I believe you" very clearly...I dont know if he heard me but mom did...I could have died. She is never gonna let me live that down...thats the last time im myself in public...well for awhile anyways.
Wowo I didnt realize I had this many feelings...time flies eh?
Well i'll write soon
enjoy pics!
~Mandi

Yesterday

Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Well that was my day yesterday. Dad lost his job, Im sick, and mom is too. Oh yeah and I constantly dream about my ex which I hope is just a phase. Im so sick of all of this. Oh and yeah I walked by chels today and she didnt even acknowledge my excistance it was so weird. Ok so now Everwood and Smallville are gone and I have no TV shows anymore except on thrusdays. Thank god thats only tomorrow. I think I would die other wise. So I guess my dad is gonna try and pursuade them(goodyear) to look into his file again because it turns out there is another Michael James Farrar and he lives right down the street from us, how weird is that??? lol.
Alright thats about all.

Everwood: Ephram and Amy get back together and Dr. Abott and Nina get engadged

More Lyrics

Avril Lavigne
“Keep Holding On”

You’re not alone
Together we stand
I’ll be by your side
You know I’ll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There’s no place to go
You know I wont give in
No, I won’t give in

CHORUS: Keep holding on
Cause you know we’ll make it through
We’ll make it through
Just stay strong Cause you know Im here for you
Im here for you
There’s nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know we’ll make it through
We’ll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it’s too late
This could all disappear
Before the door’s closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I’ll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

(Chorus)

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe.
Nothing’s gonna change
Nothing’s gonna change destiny
Whatever’s meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da dad a da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da
Repeat chorus

Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
There’s nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth. So, keep holding on.
Cause you know we’ll make it through. We’ll make it through

Lyrics... of my life

Nelly Furtado
Say It Right

In the day

In the night

Say it all

Say it right

You either got it

Or you don't

You either stand or you fall

When your will is broken

When it slips from your hand

When there's no time for joking

There's a hole in the plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me

No you don't mean nothing at all to me

Do you got what it takes to set me free

Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say that

I'm not lost and at fault

I can't say that

I don't love the light and the dark

I can't say that I don't know that

I am alive

And all of what

I feel I could show

You tonite you tonite

From my hands

I could give you

Something that I made

From my mouth

I could sing you another brick that I laid

From my body I could show you a place God knows

You should know the space is holy

Do you really want to go?

When God Made Woman...haha

KEITH URBAN
Cant stop Loving you:

So you’re leavin’
In the mornin’
On the early train
I could say everything’s alright
I could pretend and say good-bye

You got your ticket
Got your suitcase
You got your leavin’ smile
I could say that’s the way it goes
I could pretend and you won’t know
That I was lyin’

(Chorus)’
Cause I can’t stop lovin’ you
I can’t stop lovin’ you
No, I can’t stop lovin’ you
Though I try

We took a taxi
To the station
Not a word was said
I saw you walk across the road
For maybe the last time, I don’t know

Feelin’ humbleI heard a rumble
On the railway tracks
And when I hear that whistle blow
I’ll walk away and you won’t know
That I was cryin’

(Chorus)
’Cause I can’t stop lovin’ you
No, I can’t stop lovin’ you
I can’t stop lovin’ you
Though I try

I just can’t stop lovin’ you
No I can’t stop lovin’ you
I just can’t stop lovin’ you
Why do I try, why do I try