Life...again

Lyrics: John Mayer "Not Myself"

Suppose I said
I am on my best behavior
And there are times
I lose my worried mind

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
And words will go
From poetry to prose

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

And I, in time, will come around
I always do for you

Suppose I said..
You're my saving grace

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I'm someone else?

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I'm someone else?
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So I posted these lyrics because these were all I needed to hear to break down tonight and realize that I am an Idiot. Thats right. Thank you John Mayer for writing that song so I could spill my soul out to my mom in a van. Right in front of a Burger King. yeah..great. And you can only guess what it was about, yup Grego. Who else right? No one else can make me break down like that..well maybe chels or holli but still. seriously.
As I said I am an idot but...im not going to do anything obviously. That would be even more idotic. I mean he's moving on he fine with out me, as I thought I was without him. I'll be fine. I can do this I dont have a choice. Im gonna stay at home while he goes out with that one chick that gets to take him to prom. She'll probably look even better in a dress than me no matter if I dropped a pant size or not. She will look so breath takingly beautiful he wont even remember me. lol, he wouldnt even recognize me now if I was there just at his house. He'd probably be like "uh mom there's this girl in the front yard.." Because he's moved on, and I should too. Im fine, im fine, im fine. *breath* i have my family...or whats left of it. I have my friends, chels and holli. And I have God. That is if he hasnt turned his back on me for being to "sinful" with my pride.
Which come to think of I only held on to so hard because that's my dad in me and I dont want to lose that.
well tahts all, buh bye for now
~Mandi