A funeral for Grandma

What do you do? I mean really? When your Grandma dies? What do you say to your mom, after she's lost hers? I mean I know she's been trying to be really strong for all of us but seriously I know she can't be, because I'm not. I'm not ok with this at all. In fact I think it's safe to say I've been brave and strong long enough. Now I'm seriously just trying to get through this week without thinking about the next time I'm going to see her. I honestly never thought this would happen as soon as it did, and I know God's timing is perfect but I also know this is going to change everything. I mean my mom just lost one of her best friends. Well, to be honest I guess she'd lost her way before she died because she had alzheimers but it still is one of the biggest loads I think she's going to have to carry. I know all her childern must be feeling this way. I don't even want to think anymore about my mom.
Also, with my mom having demencia this isnt exactly the best way to see my Grandma die cause now all I'm hoping and praying for is that my mom doesnt die the same way.
I know this is awful to write but I've been holding this in for ever and I can't not write about it. I'm a writer it's what I do. And now I keep drawing things- you know what that means? It means I'm trying to find an outlet for myself because I'm stressed out. When I'm stressed and depressed I write, or draw, and of course I bake. I bake everything from scratch but of course being at college kind of kills that..especially when they charge you 50 cents to use the kitchens because the girls that have been using have totally trashed it.
Respect people that's all it is.
You know what the really sad part about all of this is? I'm stuck in Oklahoma, and now Cherie has to come down to get me and quite honestly...I would rather it be dad to tell you the truth cause she's going to have me crying all the way home.
She does that.
Anyways I'm kinda tired of complaining of my problems so I'll go now.
bye!
~Mandi